This Just in from Roger Fields of Rogerfields.com March 21st, 2011 | Published in humor, kidmin
I have often stated that Saturn’s Rings are comprised mainly of discarded take home papers from children’s ministry. This little known fact is increasingly capturing the imagination of kidmin people. Many have asked me how kidmin papers make their way to Saturn. So I thought it might be good to offer an explanation of this amazing phenomenon.
The scientific community is in agreement as the data suggests the following…
Vast amounts of take home papers are thrown on the floorboards of the automobiles worldwide. However, 30-40 percent are released out of car windows upon leaving the church parking lot. Those 30-40 percent are caught in a thermal updraft caused by the rapid exit of automobiles leaving the church parking lot to make it to the restaurants before noon. As the papers rise through the earth’s atmosphere being aided by global warming they convincingly exit the earth’s atmosphere through the hole in the ozone layer. Bumped along by various satellites, meteors and discarded shuttle parts the papers make their way through our solar system. Apparently Saturn’s fascinating appearance attacks the papers. This phenomenon is known as “Kidmin Magnetism.” Kidmin Magnetism is the attraction of all cool kidmin things to one central location. For instance, kidmin papers have never been spotted on the moon because the moon is not as cool as Saturn and therefore lacks the KidMin Magnetism to attract the papers. It is important to note, however, that the papers are attracted to Saturn. Saturn is not attracted to the take home papers. We think the reason is evident.
If more explanation is warranted, I may consider lecturing on this phenomenon at the Children’s Ministry Expo.
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